BDSM as a secular spiritual experience (II)

Part One: read

As traditional religions disappear from the public sphere, this new, still evolving identification of humanity's quest for meaning has created a void - people are moving away from traditional, established symbols and maps of meaning. Society, paying tribute to cognitive evolution, is still finding and inventing systems to address its existential questions, and increasingly in areas traditionally defined as secular. Popular culture and contemporary subcultures are used not only as art and entertainment, but also as religious expression. A prime example of this "secular religion" is the practice and subculture of BDSM - the deliberate, consensual participation in the play of pain, power and sex. The intersection of these primal forces in the human experience of BDSM makes the practice fertile ground for spiritual expression. The BDSM subculture can be analysed as a 'secular religion', looking at the psychology of pain and power, the religious modes of subversion and BDSM as ritual.

Pain is the most familiar and universal experience of all humanity. It is a sensation inexorably linked to psychic and cultural experiences and often accompanied by an intellectual or emotional solution. As Glucklich argues in his book Sacred Pain, all embodied experiences, including pain, are "a mixture of biological facts and cultural consciousness (metaphors, emotions, attitudes)", but he is quick to point out that pain is not the same as suffering. Suffering is not a physical sensation, but rather "an emotional reaction to a multitude of causes, some of which are completely painless", and adds that "pain can be a psychological analgesic, removing anxiety, guilt and even depression" (122). Glucklich identifies five models of pain and one of them, magical pain, is closely related to BDSM. Pain is seen as an alchemical force "which magically allows one to move from one existential state to a higher, purer state". This pain, as we can already surmise, is identified not only with BDSM, but also with contexts of religious suffering. It is like a cleansing - of the soul, conscience or ego, and at the same time this kind of pain is transformative - "pain is essential for the transition from one state of life to another, from limited states of consciousness and identities to other, broader identities".

In terms of states of consciousness, certain levels of pain have analgesic properties and can induce states of euphoria associated with 'the reduction of psychological drives and the experience of dissociation or trance. States of consciousness and their manipulation are a large part of the discourse of both religious, mystical experiences (meditation, various religious, shamanic rituals) and secular BDSM experiences.

As Glucklich argues, it is only in religious language that one can describe how "bad" pain becomes "good" pain, although this change is not only caused by religion. Pain can act as a socially and spiritually integrating force, defining and expanding an individual's sense of identity within a traditional community (122).

All over the world and at all times, religious people have flogged themselves, branded themselves, pierced their bodies or endured intense heat. The purpose of religious life in relation to pain is to transform the pain that causes suffering into pain that leads to insight, meaning and even salvation. In this context, media art also serves a number of visual effects of such a theory. "The second season of American Horror Story is, we can assume, like an encyclopaedia of sexual fetishism. The creators of the series seem determined to slip in every episode: latex, rape, slavery, sleepy nuns, mad doctors, nymphomaniacs, masturbation and spanking. It is as if BDSM is intertwined with religion, blurring the boundaries, although admittedly with pop culture motifs of a world of distorted mirrors and connotations that are not always accurate or justifiable for such a fusion, because such an implicit display of BDSM in the media is too stereotypical, intertwined with society's religious stereotypes of right and wrong, and such a display of sexual activity is at odds with the real values and activities of BDSM.

For example, the first appearances of BDSM on television can be traced back to 1925, when the silent film A Woman of the World contained hints of BDSM. While this is not the best example of the depiction of this culture, what is incredible is that it was depicted at all. In general, although hints can be found in the popular TV series Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives, in the end these were only small hints that did not make a big difference in society. So, as an example, consider the film Fifty Shades of Grey, released in 2014. The trilogy has sold more than 100 million copies worldwide, and the spectacular trailer premiered with scenes depicting slavery being shown for the first time not on late-night programmes or adults-only websites, but on the hilarious morning Today programme. However, the popularity of this film, while at first glance it may appear to be a positive acceptance of the BDSM community by the general public, is in fact deceptive, as is the case with the American Horror Story series. The BDSM community, which has suffered for years from stigmas and misguided, superficial attitudes towards the community's practices, claims that this film could be described as inauthentic at best and dangerous at worst. The question is, would Fifty Shades of Grey have been so popular if it had not revived the sexist power dynamics that are widely condemned by BDSM practitioners as a misrepresentation of healthy subdominant relationships?

The question is, if the majority of society is still trapped in the stigmas of the past, in family stereotypes of a world that is growing at an inhuman speed, is liberalising, sexuality that only gives pleasure really a topic worth listening to more closely? Here it is worth turning to the facts. In the mid-20th century, masturbation was removed from the WHO list of diseases, in 1990 homosexuality was removed from the list of diseases, and in 2010, BDSM was recognised as a non-pathological activity. Until then, voluntary submission to spanking, tying or other "alternative sexual expressions" was defined and diagnosed in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Looking at recent examples, it seems that, with a little pushing of the boundaries, the macabre and stigmatisation of BDSM activities will become a thing of the past in the near future, as it has happened with other sensitive groups that we know of. In the same way that dressing like a punk used to be controversial and women wearing trousers used to be incredibly controversial, the vanilla audience, for the time being, perceives BDSM as a radical subculture.

Finally, the sudden appearance of kink, and especially BDSM, in fashion, would be a mistake to think is new. Thierry Mugler in the 1990s and 1990s arguably presented some of the most successful kink fashion looks to be worn outside the bedroom. It was like a fantasy dome at the height of the AIDS epidemic, when sex was strictly taboo. At that time, in 1980, cultural anthropologist Gayle Rubin identified a division in society between 'good' and 'bad' sex. Society perceived this as a "vicious circle of sexuality" and it was assumed that monogamous, heterosexual, marital and reproductive sexual activity must be at the centre of the circle of "acceptable" sex. Beyond these strict considerations, all other sex was relegated to the outer fringes of the circle - sex involving BDSM, toys, indirect sexuality, sex for money and sex for pleasure. Anyone who dared to go beyond the outer limits of sexual pleasure was stigmatised, judged or even expelled from religious communities or families. Even today, some of society still views BDSM and sexuality in general in the same way. Nevertheless, data from the KinkD app show that during the Covid pandemic, the popularity of the SUB/DOM fetish increased by more than 15%, Bondage by about 10%. It is no coincidence that leather, latex, mesh clothing and accessories are becoming part of everyday wear, as we look in the windows of fast fashion stores. Brands such as Zara, H&M, COS, Mango, etc. are demonstrating the popularity and accessibility of kink fashion. And here, indeed, we seem to be seeing a new perspective emerging lately: BDSM-inspired looks are no longer catwalk, performance or community wear, but are becoming an everyday, acceptable look, and themed parties, where everyone can experience their own sexuality, are becoming increasingly popular all over the world.

In fact, the proliferation of BDSM aesthetics and references in fashion and pop culture may be indicative of its wider acceptance. As evidence for this hypothesis, we can refer to a 2015 study by researcher Christian Joyal, entitled "What exactly is an unusual sexual fantasy?", which reports that more than 60% of men and women dream of sexual subjugation or domination. In another Belgian study in 2017, researchers found that 47% of the people surveyed had performed at least one BDSM-related activity, while a further 22% reported fantasising about it. Indeed, these findings are a strong argument against the stigmatisation and pathological characterisation of BDSM and the new sexuality revival, given its high prevalence in the general population; the findings show that BDSM is increasingly perceived as a "leisure preference rather than a mental disorder". Given these findings, it is perhaps fair to say that the wider cultural visibility of BDSM is simply due to a reduced prudishness or an increased awareness that married heterosexual 'vanilla' sex is not the only form of play, and that, with the right education and boundaries in place, it is possible to let one's fantasies run free.

On the other hand, when it comes to the fetishisation of fashion, Balenciaga is exceptionally worth mentioning. While for years, one has been able to observe the tendency of many brands, and especially Balenciaga, to fetishise fashion, in his Spring 2023 collection, Demna Gvasalia seems to take these fetishes into a new league and apply them to a critique of capitalism, with a somewhat humorous approach to the background of modernity and a bold criticism of even his own buyers. After staging a show at the New York Stock Exchange and handing out fake dollars to the audience, he watched how, by giving something imaginary and fake to the audience, he received back real, monetised profit. The designer's talk about the collection emphasised lust, while models walked in masks and latex suits. The models' hidden faces and bodies symbolised exactly that - we are slaves to fashion, which promises individuality, but on the streets we look like clones. So lust, sexuality and slavery seem to find more and more points of reference in fashion, and finally it becomes clear that lust and fantasies are part and parcel of culture.

122 GLUCKLICH, Ariel. Sacred Pain. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2021. p. 278. ISBN 0195132548